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'cause it's easier being a green sinner than a green saint . . .

I'll show you blue orchids

Have you ever seen those blue orchids they sell in stores? Whenever I overhear someone say, "I saw the prettiest blue orchid the other day," I shudder. "They aren't actually blue," I say. I can't help myself. "They dye them that color. If you look closely, you can see the spot on the stem where they inject the dye." My friend Molly knows I can't stand these, and she takes every opportunity to goad me about "those pretty blue orchids."

So today, this happened (via text message):

Molly: Aren't these beautiful?!?!?!

Farmer-General: Are those f*#$ing tulips dyed blue? I hate you.

M: They were daisy type things. And they were glittery, too.

FG: Glitter?! I'm having an aneurysm.

M: I think you're missing an opportunity. I'm going to manage a division of greenSinner. It's just called "sin".

FG: Sins against horticulture.


The actual plantpocalypse came last week, though. She sent me this:

Yes, that's an actual live succulent, painted and glittered. I can still hear its screams of agony.

Speaking of succulents, I should probably be blogging about all the real things that are going on, like the succulent wedding from April, or the milk glass wedding from last week, or the ultrafun Children's Museum wedding from this week. Or the fact that almost all of the flowers are planted. Or the fact that we were on the radio on the Allegheny Front. Or the fact that we are going to be on the Lawrenceville Garden Tour on June 16 and I still have a lot of mulching and prettifying to do to get ready.

All that will come. In the meantime, I'm just happy to say that it's the night before a big wedding, and I'm home at 9:00 p.m. instead of 1:00 a.m.